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I Never Said I Was a Role Model



is this beautiful solidarity too much for you, anon?

(also, i feel bad for you.)

palestine showing more sympathy than our own damn president.

youngbloodbuzz replied to your post: uncomfy truths: i would sooner swallow…


there is a quote that has stuck with me forever because it is directly relevant to SP and being willing to put aside uncomfy personal emotions because my babyyyyy

so i mean



RIP Robin Williams :(


"Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"



Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

Let Me Gunsplain That To You


In response to yesterday’s post about the shooting of John Crawford in an Ohio Wal*Mart, a patriotic American gun enthusiast has the following to say to me:

If only he wasn’t waving around a mock weapon in a store and refusing police orders to drop the weapon instead of lawfully carrying a WEAPON in a public place he might not have gotten shot. It’s tragic that someone lost their life because of a air soft gun, but this isn’t about race. Don’t even try to spew that bullcrap.

Here are the key pieces of information, as I see them:

1) Crawford, a black man who was shot to death by police, was holding an unloaded gun sold by the store in an area of the store where these guns are sold; at the time he was shot to death, he was on his cell phone.

2) The police were called by another customer because Crawford was holding a gun in the store and looked like he was going to rob the store or shoot someone. There don’t appear to have been other calls made to the police about Crawford.

3) Crawford told police that the gun “wasn’t real” before they shot him.

Now let’s name some instances in which white guys brought their own loaded rifles into local businesses and no one called the police or complained in any way (and thus the police didn’t arrive and shoot anyone to death).

You see, this is what “lawfully carrying a WEAPON in a public place” looks like:






This guy, however, could not walk around with an unloaded air rifle in a store that sells unloaded air rifles without getting shot to death by police:


Because the freedom to carry around a gun wherever and whenever you want is reserved for white people in this country.

also, PROPS TO A FORMER STUDENT for making a post about the drought in California in lieu of completing an ice bucket challenge and saying he was donating money anyhow.

uncomfy truths: i would sooner swallow broken glass than feel okay telling someone i love them and meaning it.

I am not Mike Brown. I am white. I am middle class. I am female. I am small. I am not considered a threat. When police see me they see someone who looks like them. They see their mothers, their daughters, their sisters, themselves. I am not at risk of being shot by police for existing while black. I am not at risk of being shot while unarmed. I am not at risk of being shot while armed with nothing more than a BB gun. I am not at risk of being shot for reaching for my wallet. I am privileged.
But I am outraged. And if you aren’t outraged, then you aren’t paying attention. This is America in 2014. This is our reality. It’s so easy to get jaded and to ignore these atrocities, to act like this doesn’t affect us. It’s so easy to get apathetic. In the past it was the youth who protested. Where is the rage of the youth? Where is our rage?
Like I said, I am not Mike Brown. But I am outraged.